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NEWS
  • In Universe Dateline: Febuary 14th 2023
  • Tensions rise in South Africa after no clear winner in Presidential election
  • Bomb in Tehran café kills three IRGC members, separatists suspected
  • Dominican Republic government on verge of collapse as gang violence escalates in Santa Domingo
  • Russia claims successful test of nuclear-powered cruise missile, experts remain skeptical
  • Man claims he was acting under Taylor Swift's secret orders after being arrested at NATO summit
  • Livonia detains 12 over suspected coup attempt
  • Sahrani troops disperse protest with gunfire, 8 reported dead
  • Ethnic clashes in Sri Lanka escalate
  • THESE HEADLINES ARE WORKS OF FICTION INTENDED TO SUPPORT THE STORYLINES OF THE 3d MRB REALISM UNIT
Capt (Ret) Dale

3d MRB Quote Book

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Your Command Staff at work:

 

Capt Ray: "I'm back, I apologize for the delay. Oh, Makowski has his BRB up, I should have taken my time."

Capt Wolfe: "He's taking a shit."

1stLt Hart: "That's a long bloody shit."

Capt Ray: "That sounds pretty bad."

1stLt Hart, realizing what he actually just said: "Oh, *lol* I didn't mean it like that!"

Capt Wolfe: "Ohhhhhhhh, that's disgusting. I've smelled that before. I'd rather smell a dead body!"

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Meanwhile, on global...

 

<16:31:22> "Capt Wolfe": Koch is drunk my channel
<16:31:27> "1stLt Koch": fuck unjk

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Capt Wolfe: I'm proud of you guys-

SSgt Kozak: Aw thanks Pops

Capt Wolfe: -but I still hate you all

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*swimming across to the small island*

Cpl Ruping: man i'd love to hop on that gun boat and vietnam these fucks

*after getting off the gun boat*

Cpl Ruping: man we vietnamed those fucks

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<02:44:36> "Cpl Kardnal": im streaking in global and no one can stop me!
<02:52:13> "Cpl Kardnal" was kicked from the server by "Capt Wolfe" 

 

Yes But I can

 

 

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*While giving a unit wide meeting about using proper pomp and circumstance with seniors.* 

<20:13:42> "HMC (FMF) Parker": dont say wolfey again lol
<20:13:49> "SSgt Bingham": thank you
<20:18:57> "HMC (FMF) Parker": omg lol 

*does it over and over again after hounding people for it*

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1 minute ago, 1stLt Makowski said:

*While giving a unit wide meeting about using proper pomp and circumstance with seniors.* 

<20:13:42> "HMC (FMF) Parker": dont say wolfey again lol
<20:13:49> "SSgt Bingham": thank you
<20:18:57> "HMC (FMF) Parker": omg lol 

*does it over and over again after hounding people for it*

 

 

I'm sorry everyone. I do it just as much as the next person. Need to work on it myself.  

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1stLt Makowski: I don't want to hear your facts, Specter! They could be wearing clown masks with their dicks hanging out, they're god damn Navy SEALs, they're tier one at all times!

 

 

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Capt Ray: "Heyyyyyy I had water pressure and took a shower for the first time in 3 days!"

Sgt Cole: "Nice"

Sgt Cole: "I've had water pressure this whole time and I think I hadn't showered in 3 days!"

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SSgt Bingham: You need to figure out which of the bridesmaids you want in your hotel thou-
Cpl Corman: (deadpan) I'd go for the bride
1stLt Makowski: You're a homewrecker at heart, aren't you?

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<16:18:06> "Capt Wolfe" connected to channel "Company Commander - Capt Wolfe"
<16:22:11> "Capt Wolfe" dropped (connection lost)
<16:22:47> "Capt Wolfe" connected to channel "Company Commander - Capt Wolfe"
<16:24:42> "Capt Wolfe" dropped (connection lost)
<16:25:20> "Capt Wolfe" connected to channel "Company Commander - Capt Wolfe"
<16:28:47> "Capt Wolfe" dropped (connection lost)
<16:28:50> "Capt Wolfe" connected to channel "Company Commander - Capt Wolfe"
<16:30:17> "Capt Wolfe" dropped (connection lost)
<16:32:03> "Capt Wolfe" connected to channel "Company Commander - Capt Wolfe"
<16:33:41> "Capt Wolfe" dropped (connection lost)
<16:33:45> "Capt Wolfe" connected to channel "Company Commander - Capt Wolfe"
<16:40:25> "Capt Wolfe" dropped (connection lost)
<16:40:44> "Capt Wolfe" connected to channel "Company Commander - Capt Wolfe"
<16:41:15> "Capt Wolfe" dropped (connection lost)
<16:41:33> "Capt Wolfe" connected to channel "Company Commander - Capt Wolfe"
<16:43:53> "Capt Wolfe" dropped (connection lost)
<16:44:32> "Capt Wolfe" connected to channel "Company Commander - Capt Wolfe"
<16:46:15> "Capt Wolfe" dropped (connection lost)
<16:46:41> "Capt Wolfe" connected to channel "Company Commander - Capt Wolfe"
<16:47:39> "Capt Wolfe" dropped (connection lost)
<16:48:45> "Capt Wolfe" connected to channel "Company Commander - Capt Wolfe"
<16:49:15> "Capt Wolfe" dropped (connection lost)

 

Hows that upgraded internet going for you @Capt Wolfe

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"I hate this little midget piece of shit! I hate his little fucking smirking face!" - SSgt Kozak, on Knick Knack

 

"*maniacal laugh* I swear to god... every time he walks... I want to beat the shit out of him" - SSgt Kozak, further on the small person

Edited by GySgt Cole
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<11:25:46> "Maj Brueske" is now known as "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske"
<11:25:57> "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske" is now known as "Maj Brueske"
<11:26:13> "Maj Brueske" is now known as "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske"
<11:26:14> "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske" is now known as "Maj Brueske"
<11:26:19> "Maj Brueske" is now known as "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske"
<11:26:23> "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske" is now known as "Maj Brueske"
<11:26:27> "Maj Brueske" is now known as "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske"
<11:26:31> "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske" is now known as "Maj Brueske"
<11:26:46> "Maj Brueske" is now known as "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske"
<11:26:58> "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske" is now known as "Maj Brueske"
<11:27:12> "Maj Brueske" is now known as "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske"
<11:27:13> "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske" is now known as "Maj Brueske"
<11:27:24> "Maj Brueske" is now known as "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske"
<11:27:27> "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske" is now known as "Maj Brueske"
<11:27:34> "Maj Brueske" is now known as "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske"
<11:27:35> "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske" is now known as "Maj Brueske"
<11:27:49> "Maj Brueske" is now known as "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske"
<11:27:58> "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske" is now known as "Maj Brueske"
<11:28:09> "Maj Brueske" is now known as "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske"
<11:28:30> "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske" is now known as "Maj Brueske"
<11:29:37> "Maj Brueske" is now known as "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske"
<11:29:38> "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske" is now known as "Maj Brueske"
<11:30:26> "Maj Brueske" is now known as "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske"
<11:30:26> "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske" is now known as "Maj Brueske"
<11:30:47> "Maj Brueske" is now known as "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske"
<11:30:47> "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske" is now known as "Maj Brueske"
<11:32:46> "Maj Brueske" is now known as "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske"
<11:32:46> "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske" is now known as "Maj Brueske"
<11:33:22> "Maj Brueske" is now known as "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske"
<11:33:22> "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske" is now known as "Maj Brueske"
<11:34:24> "Maj Brueske" is now known as "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske"
<11:34:32> "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske" is now known as "Maj Brueske"
<11:34:36> "Maj Brueske" is now known as "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske"
<11:35:10> "MAJ "Manpads" Brueske" is now known as "Maj Brueske"

rip @MAJ Brueske

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GySgt Cole: "Wait, Parker said something? What did I miss?"

SSgt Specter: "We were talking about the first person to use tampons, and Parker asked, 'What, in their ass?'"

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Capt Ray: "I'm back. Where did everyone go?"

CW3 "Otto" Whelan: "S-5 meeting."

Capt Ray: "Oh. Wait, where are Grimm and Boardman?"

HM2 (FMF) Williams: "They left for the night."

Capt Ray: "Ah. Sunday Night Sex at the Boardgrimm household."

HM2 (FMF) Williams: "I wish that was my household tonight."

CW3 "Otto" Whelan: "I wouldn't mind having sex with Grimm either."

Edited by Capt Ray

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HM2 (FMF) Williams: "Hey, who's Jon Gruden?"

GySgt Cole: "He's a former coach."

SSgt Specter: "Yeah, he used to coach Tampa Bay and the Raiders."

HM2 (FMF) Williams: "Is he black?"

GySgt Cole: "What? No, why?"

HM2 (FMF) Williams: "He's listed as the color commentator…"

SSgt Specter, dying laughing: "J Willy, you retard!"

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