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Greetings, my fellow Americans, greetings. Like you, I often wondered what America's top hat was truly good for. Sure, they held the great glacial cold at bay, but of what real use could they have? O', sweet America, I too remember when Canada fielded their experimental combat mounted moose patrols. Great America, I know as of late, all Canada has shown for herself, are the Justin Bieber's of the music world. Like you, I was revolted that our neighboring country would allow such monstrosity to seep into these great lands. My America, I have walked among the people of that noble nation. I have seen the hatred in their hearts, and the vileness of their souls. The Canadian is much like the mighty and awesome maple tree, when autumn turns to winter, and the sap begins to run--to find the true brutality of the Canadian, one must simply tap it. Great and Mighty America, lend me your ears, and learn of our Northern brethren. Learn why England cast them to such savage lands. Learn what the crown so feared. My America, let us join with our fellows of the Great White North, and unify under the shared banner of musical brutality!

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