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  • In Universe Dateline: September 30th 2024
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  • THESE HEADLINES ARE WORKS OF FICTION INTENDED TO SUPPORT THE STORYLINES OF THE 3d MRB REALISM UNIT

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Posted

Myself, CW3 Whelan, SSgt McCelvy and Cpl Schwarz (Duck) are in a channel:

Whelan: "So... any word on who's getting that 8310 Team Lead?"

Duck: "I dunno."
Cole: "That's Ray's decision"

Whelan: "Duck, out of all the people in this channel, why did you think that question was directed at you?"

  • Haha 9
Posted
32 minutes ago, GySgt Cole said:

Myself, CW3 Whelan, SSgt McCelvy and Cpl Schwarz (Duck) are in a channel:

Whelan: "So... any word on who's getting that 8310 Team Lead?"

Duck: "I dunno."
Cole: "That's Ray's decision"

Whelan: "Duck, out of all the people in this channel, why did you think that question was directed at you?"

If you think that’s good you should

of heard him when Bingham brought up battalion Sgt maj.

  • Like 2
  • Haha 2

SSGT J. DERR

Retired

 

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Posted (edited)

Playing pub server, @WOC Carrendar is unconscious. I'm patching him up.

 

Carrendar: "*wakes up* CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES, THIS IS MY LAST RESORT!"

Me: "Yeah I'm putting him back to sleep. *gives him morphine*"

Edited by HM3 Pulliam
  • Haha 4

HM1 C. PULLIAM
Retired

 

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Posted

(Late evening shenanigans)
SSgt Bingham has entered the channel.
GySgt Cole: Oh hey Company Staff
SSgt Bingham: Ha. You're lucky there aren't any lower enlisted here.
GySgt Cole: Well, there are, Staff Sergeant Bingham-
"user was kicked from the server"

  • Haha 5

CAPT M. KARDNAL
Retired

 

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Posted

Bingham does hours of S-1 work (Just me and him in channel)
"Alright i'm out, lova ya" *Disconnects from channel*

LTCOL D. MAKOWSKI
Retired
MRB Command Staff (R)

 

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Posted

Capt Makowski: Well you tried to bring a suicide bomber home as a pet and it didn't go well, and it's anyone's guess as to why you thought that would end differently.

  • Like 3

CAPT M. KARDNAL
Retired

 

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Posted

"But did you know I'm Team Chief?" - SSgt Hawkins, some time in the immediate future

  • Haha 1
Posted

Capt Makowski: "OPSEC" 

 

Me: "FUCK YOU MAKOWSKI DONT YOU OPSEC ME AFTER THAT SHIT" 

 

Makowski: "LOLOLOLOLOLTROLOTLROLTORLROLOOLOLOLOLOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHLOLOOLOOLLKLOTROLOLOLOOLOTLROLOLOLOLO" 

  • Haha 2

MSGT J. BINGHAM
Retired

 

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Posted

GySgt Bingham, on being elevated to First Sergeant: "I honestly think this experience has made me a saltier person in general."

  • Like 3
  • Upvote 2

MAJ E. RAY
Retired
MRB Command Staff (R)
 

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Posted

The two canadians are playing League.

Cpl Carter: Think you need help top?
LCpl Maxwell: (top of his lungs) I'VE WANTED YOU ON TOP FOR A WHILE NOW

  • Haha 4

CAPT M. KARDNAL
Retired

 

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Posted (edited)

*Joins FNF’s*

Cooper: “I know how to get pregnant, that’s easy.” 

*Leaves FNF’s*

had a good one boys 

Edited by 1stLt Pepperman
  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
  • Haha 3

CAPT F. PEPPERMAN

Retired

Posted (edited)
10 hours ago, 1stLt Pepperman said:

*Joins FNF’s*

Cooper: “I know how to get pregnant, that’s easy.” 

*Leaves FMF’s*

had a good one boys 

definitely taken out of context

Edited by Cpl Cooper
Posted
8 hours ago, Cpl Cooper said:

that may or may not have been taken out of context

It wasn't.

Posted

Cole: “you suck toes and are afraid of birds why are you in the unit?”

 

i would like to forewrd this harassment to mu coc pls

CAPT F. PEPPERMAN

Retired

Posted

Me: Hurry the fuck up!
Kardnal: gimmie a few. doin morning shit. just woke up.
Me: more like rubbin' one out

Kardnal: you keep taunting my routine and ill fucking mail it to you
Me: I really would prefer not to receive international jizz mail

  • Haha 2
  • Upvote 1

MSGT J. CARTER
Retired

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

@1stLt Jennings has identity issues

 

<14:02:58> "1stLt Jennings" is now known as "1stLt "Rising Sun" Jennings"
<14:02:59> "1stLt "Rising Sun" Jennings" is now known as "1stLt Jennings"
<14:05:45> "1stLt Jennings" is now known as "1stLt "Rising Sun" Jennings"
<14:05:46> "1stLt "Rising Sun" Jennings" is now known as "1stLt Jennings"
<14:06:13> "1stLt Jennings" is now known as "1stLt "Rising Sun" Jennings"
<14:06:14> "1stLt "Rising Sun" Jennings" is now known as "1stLt Jennings"
<14:07:55> "1stLt Jennings" is now known as "1stLt "Rising Sun" Jennings"
<14:07:55> "1stLt "Rising Sun" Jennings" is now known as "1stLt Jennings"
<14:11:08> "1stLt Jennings" is now known as "1stLt "Rising Sun" Jennings"
<14:11:09> "1stLt "Rising Sun" Jennings" is now known as "1stLt Jennings"
<14:13:00> "1stLt Jennings" is now known as "1stLt "Rising Sun" Jennings"
<14:13:01> "1stLt "Rising Sun" Jennings" is now known as "1stLt Jennings"
<14:13:32> "1stLt Jennings" is now known as "1stLt "Rising Sun" Jennings"
<14:13:33> "1stLt "Rising Sun" Jennings" is now known as "1stLt Jennings"
<14:13:46> "1stLt Jennings" is now known as "1stLt "Rising Sun" Jennings"
<14:13:47> "1stLt "Rising Sun" Jennings" is now known as "1stLt Jennings"
<14:14:14> "1stLt Jennings" is now known as "1stLt "Rising Sun" Jennings"
<14:18:04> "1stLt "Rising Sun" Jennings" is now known as "1stLt Jennings"
<14:18:12> "1stLt Jennings" is now known as "1stLt "Rising Sun" Jennings"
<14:18:12> "1stLt "Rising Sun" Jennings" is now known as "1stLt Jennings"
<14:18:22> "1stLt Jennings" is now known as "1stLt "Rising Sun" Jennings"
<14:18:23> "1stLt "Rising Sun" Jennings" is now known as "1stLt Jennings"
<14:20:49> "1stLt Jennings" is now known as "1stLt "Rising Sun" Jennings"
<14:20:50> "1stLt "Rising Sun" Jennings" is now known as "1stLt Jennings"

  • Haha 3
  • Sad 1

HMCS J. WILLIAMS
Retired

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Posted

"Yo I'm Corporal Wade
Fuck with me and you'll catch my fade
Saw your girl this morning, yes I got laid"
 

  • Haha 1
Posted

LCpl Turk, on his excuse for Sunday Op:

    "You know, penis needs vagina, and vagina needs penis..."

  • Like 1
  • Haha 3
  • Upvote 1

SGT E. YILDIRIR

Retired

 

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