3d MRB Quote Book

[HMC (FMF) Rivera]

HM1 (FMF) Kakta: So apparently there was a female who blue falcon her chief and all her co-workers - 

Sgt Zietara: Wait... Did Cooper join the navy? 

[M. Lombardo]

<18:52:39> "HMC (FMF) Williams": are you a flat earther*
<18:52:44> "HMC (FMF) Williams": I'm on my laptop sorry
<18:52:47> "HMC (FMF) Williams": Okay thank god
<18:52:55> "HMC (FMF) Williams": He's hired

[LTC Brueske]

Vandevord: "Im going to call all JTAC's 'Lazer Monkeys' from now on."

[M. Lombardo]

HM1 Kakta reviving Turk

Turk wakes up

Turk: You killed my dream I was about to touch the titties.

[Capt Hart]

Sgt Turk: You know we're a family and stuff, we like fuck eachother's girlfriends and stuff its ok.

[Capt (Ret) Kardnal]

Capt Golembesky: Rivera, Sgt Azeazi was asking for your address. He said he had a dowry of about fifteen goats he wanted to send to your parents. He's wondering if-

HM2 (FMF) Rivera: NOO

GySgt Carter: Hold on now, that's a strong offer.

Capt Kardnal: Let's not be too hasty with ourselves.

GySgt Carter: Diplomatic opportunity, Rivera.

[MSgt (Ret) Carter]

**Playing Fallout 76 w/ @Cpl Maxwell**

Cpl Maxwell: "Huh! a bed to rest on."
Game: "SLEEPING ON RANDOM GROUND BEDS CAN SPREAD DISEASES."
Cpl Maxwell: "I'll just have a quick nap then (1 minute)."
Game: "YOU HAVE CONTRACTED SWAMP ITCH (Disease)."
Cpl Maxwell: "AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

[Cpl (Ret) VandeVord]

@SSgt Anderson: There's a Sherman in my asshole!

[M. Lombardo]

Channel is taking about protein. 

Turk: Jizz has a lot of protein in it.  

[HMC (FMF) Rivera]

Capt Kardnal: "Ok! Everyone is clear to leave, remember, execution is at noon!" 

[HMC (FMF) Rivera]

WOC "Pull-Up" VandeVord: Ok we will stop calling you Riviera but we will start calling you River-Eh as the Canadians say it!

Edited November 20, 2018 by HM2 (FMF) Rivera

[HMC (FMF) Rivera]

HM2 (FMF) Rivera: look its cooper! (in the video)

HMC (FMF) Williams: Its like nails on a chalkboard, I hated her voice.

HM2 (FMF) Rivera: I hope I'm not like that.

HMC (FMF) Williams: No you're 1000x better than her.

HMC (FMF) Williams: If I find out you're a man im going to fucking kill my self. 

Edited November 20, 2018 by HM2 (FMF) Rivera

[LtCol (Ret) Makowski]

Me: "Jeez Kardnal, That sounded like one of my responses."

Kardnal with anger emphasis: "Of course, who the fuck do you think I learned it from you aging asshole!"

[HMC (FMF) Rivera]

(on radio) Sgt Melbert: Make sure you're not to close to the vehicle cause you will have black blast.

(goes again on radio) Sgt Melbet: Don't stand next to the vehicle or you will get space jammed.  

[Capt (Ret) Tullo]

While sitting in Maj Ray's Channel and looking at maps:

 

GySgt Tullo: Is this suppose to be Japan?

LTC Brueske: Yes it is suppose to be Okinawa!

 

Wait five minutes for "Dory" to keep swimming

 

LTC Brueske: Wait Okinawa is Japan! You all knew that already and just decided not to tell me!

 

@LTC Brueske

@Maj Ray

@LCpl Yildirir

Edited December 1, 2018 by GySgt Tullo

[LTC Brueske]

HN Vandevord: "who's that black guy"

Edited December 4, 2018 by LTC Brueske

[HMC (FMF) Rivera]

 Z: Melbert I'm gonna need your help if I'm drunk and I'm about to marry a stripper, tell me not to bro
Melbert: Melbert: Fuck no you're gonna learn the hard way

Z: No bro help me!
Melbert: Nope you're marrying that stripper.

Melbert: You better back the fuck off Jwilly too cause that's my ticket out the barracks

[HMC (FMF) Rivera]

z: something I'm looking forward to is when you're in MEPS and we are all standing in a circle and we are all taking a piss test.

melbert: what you going to be pissing into the shower drain?

[SSgt (Ret) Braathen]

HN VandeVord: why is my face brown?

[Maj Whelan]

Sgt Turk: Consent is a really weird issue where I come from.

[HMCS (Ret) (FMF) Williams]

Several from 8311s Operation:

 

HM2 (FMF) Rivera: Where can I find Sgt Easy's grave?

GySgt Carter: Typical woman, only wants the man now that he's dead.

 

Me: *Driving pickup truck past 8311 Tac 1*

Sgt Melbert: I want my disability check run me over!

 

Capt Golembesky: *Walks into CCP all bloody*

Me & HM2 (FMF) Rivera: What happened to you?

Capt Golembesky: I "Tactically" jumped off the roof

Me: Oh so you fell off the roof, got it.

[MSgt (Ret) Carter]

7 minutes ago, HMC (FMF) Williams said:

Capt Golembesky: *Walks into CCP all bloody*

Me & HM2 (FMF) Rivera: What happened to you?

Capt Golembesky: I "Tactically" jumped off the roof

Me: Oh so you fell off the roof, got it.

OH NO I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS SKI



Me, an intellectual: "Golembesky, how many casualties did you guys take (IRL) due to falling off of buildings?"
Golembesky: "Uhhhhhhhhhhhh"

[Capt Hart]

1stLt Wauben loving the marine promotion warrant: "To rank such as from the ..." & "To render obedience in appropriate others"

 

Sgt Turk talking about Squad: Its so pretty now! It's like jizzy!

[M. Golembesky]

"I am coming home Brittany." -Sgt Easy (Afghan CMDO), KIA 09DEC2018

[HMC (FMF) Rivera]

<16:47:12> "Sgt Melbert": Heyyy babby how about me and you do some flight school? ❤️
<16:47:29> "LTC "Dory" Brueske": heeeeyyyy to bad i have to leave for work in half an hour
<16:47:50> "LTC "Dory" Brueske": tomorrow anytime after 1300 tho
<16:48:40> "Sgt Melbert": Ill meet you in the alley at 1330 sharp. Ill bring the green weenie