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NEWS
  • In Universe Dateline: Febuary 14th 2023
  • Tensions rise in South Africa after no clear winner in Presidential election
  • Bomb in Tehran café kills three IRGC members, separatists suspected
  • Dominican Republic government on verge of collapse as gang violence escalates in Santa Domingo
  • Russia claims successful test of nuclear-powered cruise missile, experts remain skeptical
  • Man claims he was acting under Taylor Swift's secret orders after being arrested at NATO summit
  • Livonia detains 12 over suspected coup attempt
  • Sahrani troops disperse protest with gunfire, 8 reported dead
  • Hurricane rips through Florida Cemetery; Hundreds reported Dead
  • THESE HEADLINES ARE WORKS OF FICTION INTENDED TO SUPPORT THE STORYLINES OF THE 3d MRB REALISM UNIT
Capt (Ret) Dale

3d MRB Quote Book

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*explosion noises around the entire team while we're in assault boats*

SSgt Anderson: "IT SOUNDS LIKE NORMANDY OUT HERE"

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2ndLt Hall: Well I'll see you guys in about two weeks cuz we're outa airplanes

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Wild goose chase for one guy into the hills

Final stand firefight with 2 members of viking 1 and 1 fillin, and ISIS goat fuckers 

Both Gwynne and katka are WIA close to KIA

Sgt herrick: its okay... its okay you’re gonna be fine you’re fine its just a scratch *pulls a very limp katka behind a hill* *hes definitely not okay*

ISIS dude in the distance: grab him!(Gwynne)

Sgt Herrick: forgetting about me! Knuckle fuck! *full sends 40mm into Gwynne*

gwynne dies

*shwacks his immediate area*

ISIS fighters surround herrick,

katka dies

herrick gets shot passes out

taken hostage

lets just say they made me wear a gimp suit...

 

everyone learns about this and its just been down hill from there, you call me gimp i will stop talking to you lmao

 

Next training day

Herrick says “GySgt(at the time)Tullo, Permission to shoot Milo in the face?”

 

GySgt Tullo, Permission denied.

 

Stayed alive for a while so give me props there!

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Tales from CS OPSEC:

 

Maj Ray: "Alright, let's begin by going top to bottom."

LtCol Makowski: "Ooooh, yeah, I like going top to bottom."

SSgt Whelan: "I feel like we need one of those water spray bottles. Bad Makowski!"

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Duck and I have been playing a lot of Dead Space 3 lately, and for those of you who don't know you create a bunch of crazy weapons from scratch in that game.

 

Duck (after spending 15 minutes crafting a gun): Okay cool, so I made a lightning gun with an attachment that pushes people back, what did you make?

 

*Duck turns around to see me lighting people on fire with a flamethrower that also shoots saw blades while I'm laughing so hard that I am actually crying.*

 

Duck: Dude what the fuck.

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Explaining laptop RAM installation to LTC Brueske:

 

SSgt Anderson: "Brueske, you literally just put it in."

Maj Ray: "That's what she said."

SSgt Anderson: "Brueske isn't familiar with that either."

LTC Brueske: "Ouch, Anderson."

Maj Ray: "Brueske, it's just like sex. First you have to unscrew and pull down the covers. Then you need to find the clip. You touch the clip and then the slot speads open, and you then you stick it in."

SSgt Anderson: dying laughing

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HMC(FMF) Kakta: I don't know why girls take pictures of their pregnant stomachs, it isn't sexy.

Sgt Turk: Fucking a pregnant chick is awesome! 

Me: You can have sex and get head all at the same time!

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1 hour ago, LtCol Makowski said:

LtCol Makowski: Can i NJP someone for what someone quoted them as saying in a quote book?

*Makowski's brain*: *shrugs*

my brain: I'm trying to decide whether or not quoting your own brain is genius or a new level of narcissism

my brain: fuck

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SSgt Whelan: "For all we know there is an AWACS overhead boosting the range of our radios"

LTC Brueske: "That's not how an AWACS Works"

SSgt Whelan: "It is in our universe"

 

@SSgt Whelan

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PFC Coleman: “look at Turks blood on the window” 

Cpl Yild: “dammit Turk stop bleeding everywhere.”

 Sgt Turk: “that’s how I mark my Territory!”

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Tales from CS OPSEC:

 

SSgt Whelan: "See Parker's porn brings everyone together"

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Joining channel for team training

 

Capt Kardnal: Gentlemen, how we doin?

SSgt Schwarz: We're team HQ

Capt Kardnal: ah cool, I'll take Tac 2 then.

GySgt Kozak: [audible panic] No! Take it back, I dont wanna be team HQ

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