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  • In Universe Dateline: Febuary 14th 2023
  • Tensions rise in South Africa after no clear winner in Presidential election
  • Bomb in Tehran café kills three IRGC members, separatists suspected
  • Dominican Republic government on verge of collapse as gang violence escalates in Santa Domingo
  • Russia claims successful test of nuclear-powered cruise missile, experts remain skeptical
  • Man claims he was acting under Taylor Swift's secret orders after being arrested at NATO summit
  • Livonia detains 12 over suspected coup attempt
  • Sahrani troops disperse protest with gunfire, 8 reported dead
  • Hurricane rips through Florida Cemetery; Hundreds reported Dead
  • THESE HEADLINES ARE WORKS OF FICTION INTENDED TO SUPPORT THE STORYLINES OF THE 3d MRB REALISM UNIT
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Posted

I'm explaining how the Giants are dropping Ereck Flowers (left tackle) for a player from the Patriots:

Me: "Ereck Flowers can eat a dick in every orifice"

Specter: "He's TERRIBLE. I'm a better left tack- like, McCelvy, you're a better left tackle than Ereck Flowers"

McCelvy: "Well yeah I'm the shit..."

  • Haha 5
Posted

9:12 AM - Koch: thank u
9:12 AM - Koch: just got to the aliens with the big milk tiddies
 

  • Upvote 2
Posted

@Maj RayTalking about coming back from his LOA

 

"OK I'm out. And also I'm getting Wendy's tonight, because I'm coming down from Mount LOA with the digital tablets in both hands."

  • Like 1
  • Upvote 1
Posted

1stLt Kardnal: "That Chinese restaurant is so authentic it got raided for human trafficking."

  • Haha 5
  • Upvote 1
Posted

Cpl Wauben: Sgt Carter, I need doc.
Sgt Carter: What happened?
Cpl Wauben: Well when you told me not to sit on the pointy end of my 240. .
Sgt Carter: I didn't tell you, I assumed it was common knowledge. It's a good way to burn out your barrel.

  • Haha 3
Posted

We didn't have many people show up for Team training so we postponed and made a little fun mission.

Choice quotes:

 

"Wait, go to Chernarus and go to the big school building."

"No, we can't shoot up a school."

 

"We must protect the our Sunni brothers from the Shiite invaders"

 

"Why did you shoot that Igla at me?"

 

"Fuck optics, I practiced shooting with no sights, like a proper terrorist."

 

 

 

 

  • Like 2
  • Haha 2
Posted

Me: "I'm drinking the healthy version of monster..."

McCelvy: "Fuck that's like me saying smoking Amercian Spirits are the healthy version of smoking cigarettes" 

  • Haha 3
Guest
Posted (edited)

Imeson: If I meet my maker tomorrow I'm gonna say "What the fuck bro?!"

Edited by Guest
forgot a "
Posted

Air to ground comms during Siren Song 01-18

Capt Jennings:  WILL CARPET BOMB FOR FREE, DIAL 1-800-JENNINGS-NOW
Oh man you get me a treeline and i'll turn it into a fucking charcoal production line
White phospours comes free

 

 

  • Like 2
  • Haha 2
Posted
1 hour ago, Capt Falconer said:

Air to ground comms during Siren Song 01-18

Capt Jennings:  WILL CARPET BOMB FOR FREE, DIAL 1-800-JENNINGS-NOW
Oh man you get me a treeline and i'll turn it into a fucking charcoal production line
White phospours comes free

 

 

hey cocksucka it was over steam

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Posted
10 hours ago, Capt Jennings said:

hey cocksucka it was over steam

Still counts

Posted

GySgt Specter: I'm like Harry Potter but with less magic and more depression.

  • Haha 3
  • Upvote 1
Posted (edited)

1stLt Kardnal: I'm gonna go take a nap

Charlie Team Lead: Kardnal don't you dare

1stLt Kardnal: *Goes Away*

Charlie Team Lead: KARDNAL!!! You bitch. Se this is why you don't give your bitches privileges

Edited by HM1 (FMF) Williams
  • Haha 5
Posted (edited)

*searching police vics in OSS 01-18*

 

Seixeiro: "Hey Pulliam, how much cocaine is bad?"

Me: "Uh... yes?"

Seixeiro: "Great answer. Hey Gwynne, grab all of it."

Edited by HM2 (FMF) Pulliam
  • Haha 4
Posted (edited)

Edited by Sgt Cooper
Posted
53 minutes ago, Sgt Cooper said:

 

ml4SYR0.jpg

 

Fixed it for you

  • Haha 1
Posted

"My niece was over there beboping like what's his name, Squarepants Bob or some shit, and she's beboping around dancing and throwing the ball down the lane. Meanwhile I'm here using proper form, kicking my legs out, and she's kicking my ass!" McCelvy on Wii bowling

  • Haha 3
Posted (edited)

Brueske playing City Skylines and a natural disaster occurs.

 

Brueske: What happens when tornadoes go over land? Do they turn into waterspouts?

 

 

Edited by HM2 (FMF) Benson
  • Upvote 1
Posted

Cpl Seixeiro: I really wanna buy a lever action because I can't find a practical use for another AR.
SSgt Derr: You could go and find a school.

  • Haha 3
Posted

Hamm: "Hammeo Hammeo wherefore art thou Hammeo"
McAllister: "Thats funny because it comes from the play, Hamlet."
Moraven: "... what? No, it's from Romeo!"
 

  • Haha 3
Posted (edited)

Cpl Rougth: "What are you? A closet Black?"

Edited by LTC Brueske
  • Haha 2
Posted

McBean: "LOA Cole is my Dad"

  • Upvote 1
Posted

J Willy, playing Tarkov: "Ray, I'm gonna die!"

Me: "Technically, we're all dyin--"

J Willy: "SHUT UP!"

  • Like 1
  • Haha 3
  • Upvote 1
Posted

Cpl Turk: Yeah I'm going to hell. Its probably a nice place.

  • Haha 2
Guest
Posted (edited)

Sgt Moraven: "It feels good to have a nice long tube in my hands"
Sgt Moraven an hour later recounting the moment.

Sgt Moraven: "It feels good to have a long tube in my mou..hands"

Edited by Guest
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