3d MRB Quote Book

[K. Rivera]

Rivera: [walks into a room with HQ in it] If people keep climbing things and falling off I am going to ban climbing.
Carter: Now that doesn't sound like a solution to the problem.
Kardnal: I think we should see about getting some bright PT belts for them. See if we can get a drop of bright yellow PT belts.
Specter goes over radio to air: Hey can we get a supply drop of bright yellow PT belts?
LTC Brueske comes back: uhhhhhhhhhh....

HQ walks off laughing.

Melbert in the background: Fuck you and your PT belts!

[Maj (Ret) Ray]

<23:55:30> "SSgt Anderson" connected to channel "S-5 SNCOIC - *****"
<23:55:59> "SSgt Anderson" pokes you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBxpeuxUiOA
<23:56:01> "SSgt Anderson" disconnected (Atlas 2 Out)

[Capt Hawkins]

Brueske - "You need to pull harder!"

Bazarnicki - "I'm pulling as hard as I can!"

[Capt Hart]

SSgt Falconer: It's a battle Waifu

[LTC Brueske]

Hall: That's the thing with these extra rotary sections if you dont need them... just 69 them... wait what is it?

Brueske: you mean 86 it?

-laughter-

[K. Rivera]

SSgt Turk: I will be late by 15 minutes
HM1 (FMF) Rivera: Why you going to beat your meat?
SSgt Turk: No I am going to give someone head.
Everyone in the team speak: BREAK COMMS! WHAT?!
SSgt Turk: Yeah I am going to give someone head and I am going to get paid. 

[S. Spyke]

1stLt Tullo :  "Triceracock."

[HM2 (FMF) Tullo]

While sitting around shooting the shit:

 

Capt Hall: My idea for Kat medical still has not been implemented.

1stLt Tullo: You mean riding your plane into the ground?

Capt Hall: Yeah, actually I'm going to start carrying a sword.

LTC Brueske: Like the Samurai?

Capt Hall: Yeah, I'm going to carry a Sudoku!

Everyone laughs

LTC Brueske: You mean a Seppuku?  

[Capt Hart]

Falconer ranting about something

 

Harts Girlfriend: He has a cool accent

Hart: Falconer, my girlfriend says you have a cool accent

Falconer: Oh. Well tell her thank you.

Hart: She can hear she just doesn't want to talk.

Falconer: Oh ok. Thanks Lady!!

[S. Spyke]

Hall : "Be right back"

 

15 minutes later...

 

Hall : "I'm back"

Spyke : "God, did you get back from a surprise fap?"

Hall : "Yeah"

Spyke : "Sure, do that right in the middle of a conversation..."

Hall : "It's your voice"

Spyke ↓

 

 

[CW4 Levorse]

"fuck I just realized I married a dumb bitch" - Rivera 

"that's your own fault though" - Falconer

[MSgt Falconer]

HMC (FMF) Rivera: Alright Im gonna be a Little bit racist here but there is a Point to it, ok.

[HM1 (Ret) Speirs]

"Fill my ginger pussy with your Kool-Aid" -Falconer

"Is there pussy flavored Kool-Aid?" -Captain Whelan

[K. Rivera]

When I told speirs I had music for her to listen too. 

HN Speirs: “oh yes baby give me more.” 

 

[K. Rivera]

During debrief of mission with company, s2, and 8312 HQ, and falconer.

 

HMC (FMF) Rivera: I have never sweated so much from my ass cheeks before. It felt like I was doing an extreme work out. I no kidding, stood up and my chair was wet from the sweat that my ass was making every time I clinched my butt cheeks together. 

 

Everyone in the team speak, dying. 

[MSgt Falconer]

Capt Hawkins: No, Germany is camping simulator

(Context deliberately left out)

[MSgt Falconer]

@Capt Whelan: Technically it is illegal to listen to @CW4 Carrera while operating Heavy machinery.

[HM1 (Ret) Speirs]

"I'm sorry Rivera, you need to be an officer to take part in the gang bang." - Capt Whelan

[K. Rivera]

HMC (FMF) Rivera and Sgt Melbert having a convo about his upcoming training in 29 palms.

Sgt Melbert: Marines are gonna bring MARSOC so that means the British are going to bring SAS. So im going to be on guard duty and im going to blink and fucking Capt Price and Soap are going to be in front of me like "Welcome to the mountains of Kandahar bitches."

[SSgt (Ret) Melbert]

Having a discussion with Rivera

Me: Have you seen what Spier's looks like?

Rivera: No, does she look like a man?

Me: I don't know I was asking you since you two are vagina buddies.

Rivera: It's armpit buddies, get it right

Me: Is that because that's the sound it makes?

[CW4 Levorse]

I could probably commision Brueske to draw me with big ol tiddies - Speirs

[CW4 Levorse]

"I lick the tittys like I put on pants, one leg at a time" - Whelan

[MSgt Falconer]

LCpl Robertues: *Leaps out of a HMMWV like a proper american action hero, sprints to a nearby rock and set his M249 up, yelling "Machinegun up!"
HN Speirs: *Completely deadpan* Well, you are looking the wrong way.

LCpl Robertues: Oh.
Team HQ: *Laughing its ass off*

[K. Rivera]

HMC (FMF) Rivera: *clap clap* Girl! Do you have SCUM?!
HN Speirs: Bless you. 

 

Maj Brueske: Bless you child father for I have sinned. 
HMC (FMF) Rivera: Alrighty then. 

[GySgt (Ret) Kakta]

"OUR BRAVE SOLDIERS ARE DYING" - @Everyone