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NEWS
  • In Universe Dateline: Febuary 14th 2023
  • Tensions rise in South Africa after no clear winner in Presidential election
  • Bomb in Tehran café kills three IRGC members, separatists suspected
  • Dominican Republic government on verge of collapse as gang violence escalates in Santa Domingo
  • Russia claims successful test of nuclear-powered cruise missile, experts remain skeptical
  • Man claims he was acting under Taylor Swift's secret orders after being arrested at NATO summit
  • Livonia detains 12 over suspected coup attempt
  • Sahrani troops disperse protest with gunfire, 8 reported dead
  • Ethnic clashes in Sri Lanka escalate
  • THESE HEADLINES ARE WORKS OF FICTION INTENDED TO SUPPORT THE STORYLINES OF THE 3d MRB REALISM UNIT
Capt (Ret) Dale

3d MRB Quote Book

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Sgt Woods: "This might be a tad awkward. Does it look like I've been sweating.....in my crotch region."
Me: "Yes."

Edited by SSgt Red

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HM2 Benson: I don't want to get emotionally attached to titties. That's why I don't watch Game of Thrones.

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SSgt Bazarnicki: Moraven is like a reverse ATM, I swipe a credit card through her butt crack and she spits out money.

Sgt Moraven: OH!! That reminds me of a story.

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HM3 Mask: You know what helps me out when I'm nervous Hawkins?
Me: Whats that?
HM3 Mask: What makes me feel better when I'm nervous is I like to eat a bag of Cheetos® and then have wet dreams while I'm playing
Me: Don't fall asleep on me Mask.

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Cpl Cole: Do I want to get sweaty before bed?

Later...

Cpl Cole: I found out the other day that I am very capable of murder.

Cpl Cole: Nothing fills me with rage and wanting to kill more than BAKING!

Edited by 2ndLt Hart

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Sgt Hawkins: "Alright let's go over there and demo that SAM now that we have control of the runway"
SSgt Falconer: "No. It's not our issue anymore."
LCpl Kardnal: ".. . .C'mon Hawkins lets blow it up!"
LCpl Kardnal and Sgt Hawkins sprint off before SSgt Falconer can get a word in edgewise or notice that they are missing.

200m later. . .

LCpl Kardnal and Sgt Hawkins are approached by an Army Specialist 'Harry Johnson', who tells them "Hey, this runway is under our control now. No need to demo anything." Interrupting Hawkins and Kardnal planting charges.
LCpl Kardnal: "Well I've got higher-ups demanding this SAM be demo'd ASAP."
Harry Johnson: "Can't let you do that."
LCpl Kardnal: "Hold up. Let me contact My superiors." (Radio queues common channel) "Command, this is Kardnal. Army wants us to stop the demo on the SAM. How do you want me to proceed?"
SSgt Falconer: (radio) "Don't blow up the SAM."
LCpl Kardnal: "Yeah they want us to blow up the SAM."
Harry Johnson: "Okay, carry on." (jogs the fuck off)

Operator to the max. "Too Opsec for you"

  • Upvote 3

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SSgt Falconer: I just realized that I held down my push to talk while I ate my nuts.

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1stLt Ray: Stick with me kid. You'll go far. Into a ditch. Screaming.

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More great out of context ray quotes...

1stLt Ray: It smells like fish pussy

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<22:04:56> "HN J. Wolfe (Laptop)": Yeah but once you get 2 dicks in the ass your life will never be the same

  • Upvote 5

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Sgt Boardman: Just smoke a li'l WWWEEEEEEEEEEEeeeed.
Sgt Boardman: That is, coming from the girl who "tried" to smoke it. . Once.. . 

  • Upvote 1

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